Dakheelak Shoo Zalameh
Every day society finds more ways to appall me about the treatment of women…
Enormous idea which can easily handle a blog on its own, so let me write about one small thing now, maybe more later.
More than once I’d be walking down some street, when I’d see some guy “conversing” with his girlfriend on mobile. The shouts, curses, verbal abuse is blood-curdling (the flailing of his arms give you the mental image that he’s pulling the girl from the hair and bashing her face first to an adjacent wall). Usually the girl has no idea what she did wrong.
As usual, media reflects/perpetrates this behavior, with popular Arab movies showing “cool” guys as lacking sympathy, and regularly abusive to their passive girlfriends.
I would like to point to a much more dangerous mentality however, one found among the non-abusers. It goes like this:
Nice guy meets girl. Nice guy and girl are friends. Nice guy has a crush on the girl. Girl doesn’t notice nice guy and finds an abusive boyfriend. Nice guy concludes that being nice to a girl will get you nowhere.
Basically, the saying goes: “Being caring and understanding will get you a close friendship, being an asshole will get you in her heart”
Let the debunking begin:
1-Being nice doesn’t mean anything on its own: Dude, just because you listened and nodded to her endless yapping you think she’s gonna go head over heels for you? What about other attractive qualities? Which brings me to…
2- Most guys seem to rely on “nice” when there’s nothing else going for them: I admit, team “nice” is filled with losers, retards, shy people, socially challenged…etc. Girls can sense that. If you are being caring out of necessity and not out of choice, you’re probably gonna get stuck in the friend zone.
It’s when these people decide to act on their deductive logic and suddenly turn into abusers that their social life usually goes down the drain
All around me I see the “Zalameh” the guy who crushes the girl and the “7abbab” the guy who she calls and cries to. Where the hell is the third type?
The type that can make a girl proud to lock arms with in public. Who has an inspiring personality, is wise and friendly. Who can be understanding of a woman’s emotions, and can spoil and treat her like a queen, while still maintaining control of the relationship.
Those guys are so rare, that girls tend to hold on to them tooth and nail.
BTW, girls are the only way to curb the asshole population. You see guys usually act like this because they know they can get away with it, and with the limited chain of suitors the Arab girl gets (ethnic and religious lines, trouble meeting people) they usually do. But if the Arab girls decide to build a front, to prove that this kind of treatment would not be tolerated, type three would get a steady number of new recruits.
So girls, get to it! We’re counting on you…