Posted tagged ‘marriage’

Stereotypes of the Syrian female: Marriage

October 19, 2010

I can’t say I’ve seen all cultures of Syria “not even close”, but from what I’ve seen I’ve come to this conclusion. Judging by their opinion on what is the number one issue in their lives, Syrian females can be grouped into three broad categories:

1-The “Marry me ASAP”:

Come on! Before I get too old!

With these girls it’s not who they marry, it’s how fast they can do it.  At age eighteen (or sixteen) she’s out of school and bam! Three months later she’s engaged/married to the first barely eligible suitor. It’s as if  they’ve taught her the hymen spontaneously drops at age twenty.

Are these girls happy? I can’t tell you, mainly because I can’t greet them in the street anymore. If you even think of waving their way you’ll get a hundred eye gestures to keep away for the love of dear Moses. Relying on indirect sources, I’ve found out that three changes are characteristic:

-They turn into breeding machines: They shoot out quick, and they shoot out many.

– They get old real fast: Fashion, hairstyle, activities, etc. Her mom is her BFF. She stays at home a lot, TV viewing hours quadruple. College of course is not an option

-They become literally incapable of making an autonomic decision: Either the husband, mother, mother-in-law, or in extreme cases the father decides. And don’t you dare put her in a situation where she has to, her brain will explode I tell you.

2- The “I wanna live a while”:

Yayyy

Those are the vast majority. They wanna go to college and enjoy it, have a social life, go on trips with the youth club. The first couple of college years can be about cute, overly dramatic relationships, but usually after age 22 they’re searching for Mr.Right. They also have a dream about working in some sweet little girly job.

Don’t let them fool you, although these girls like flirting with freedom, they are never free. They have this special path, wide or narrow, which they can’t deviate from. Conformity is nauseatingly widespread. They dress the same as each other, talk the same as each other, avoid the taboos, don’t dare do anything unless they know at least four of their friends have done it before. Standing out is anathema. The career also is a fling. None of them take it seriously, or try to upgrade. The career is expected to be discarded as soon as the ring is on the left finger.

I don’t know, type 2 looks like type 1 to me with a little more friends and memories. But that’s a major improvement I guess. I admire them, in a society where all the cards are against them, they make most with what they have.

3- The Shark:

Are you hitting on me?

This girl might not be sure what she wants, but she knows exactly what she doesn’t, a guy with a humongous ego, a bubble for a brain, and a family from hell dictating every minute detail of her life. She’s confident, independent, fresh. She takes her job very seriously, and is making a decent salary out of it. Since she will still be living with her parents (even guys are still not into renting their own place here. I have no idea why), she usually has a lot of extra cash, which she spends spoiling herself. Clothes, jewelery, parties… Sharks are very social, and travel in packs. You can usually find them in the trendy cafes after type two’s curfew has passed.

Many type threes want to get married or have a family, so if you ask them they might say they didn’t get what they wanted in life. Why they didn’t find that sophisticated, caring, liberal family guy is beyond me. Maybe we’re all assholes, maybe we know society is in our favor, and feel we’re entitled to the submissive relations it gives us. Maybe we don’t want equality.

In my opinion type three is much happier than she gives herself credit. She has broken the chains, she has defined herself, she is free to explore the world “many get business trips, or you can just go with the extra cash”. The sharks I know all are late twenties- early thirties, and they are my idols. They are trend-setters, and many young girls will look at what they do and decide the rules must change.

Aim for a good ta3neeseh women, marriage doesn't seem that appealing

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