Posted tagged ‘Sanctions’

What Obama meant

May 5, 2010

The Obama administration decided to celebrate Star Wars day, by renewing the economic sanctions against Syria.

This is in no way surprising since we aren’t exactly at the best of terms with the U.S’ closest ally, guys are looking after their turf, it’s politically sound.

What I’m sick of is the constant volleys of political word-twisting heading against Syria every day. Some of the biggest words a politician can use against a country’s image… Supporting terrorism, pursuing weapons of mass destruction… I’m glad they didn’t accuse us of raping something holy.

Any political enthusiast with moderate to high knowledge of world politics would start getting images of this sort: A loose cannon, exporting terrorist cells left and right, threatening to nuke every country on the map, and even crazy enough to do it. Fuck, they probably have gulags too.

I’m going to be kind enough to do the US a favor, and explain to everybody what was exactly meant by what they said:

1-Syria supports terrorist groups:

What this statement made you think:

The Syrian administration are probably the guys behind the underwear bomber, the Madrid train bombings, the Texas chainsaw massacre etc. Those jerks train and send people to perpetrate killing and random violence around the world. Syria bears an extremist  radical interpretation of Islam, and helps promote it around the world.

The truth:

Syria is a multi-cultural society and has a leadership that is… secular. Nope we don’t go to madrasehs where K is for kalashnikov. Sorry for ruining that for you guys.  Syria is a really pragmatic country with some non-negotiable principles (The poor man comes first, whether it be subsidies or closing outside markets. Golan is kinda ours)… None of them religious. It’s pretty normal to walk around in Syria without a hijab.

By far the number one ideology for Syria is stability. To stability, all else comes second. And with neighbors like Israel, Iraq and Lebanon (no offense), who could blame us? And for that, Syria does “support terrorist groups”. The guy didn’t say anything wrong, we support Hizbullah and Hamas, which are terrorist groups. But they’re not terrorists like post 9-11 terrorists. They’re the 70s South America,  Guevaraesque, hit-and-run, jungle guerrilla kind (there’s no jungle, I’m just drawing a mental image here). You know, the “in front of oppression my brothers, all we can do is fight” kind. The kind that gets called freedom fighters in history books a century later…

2-Syria’s pursuing weapons of mass destruction:

What this made you think:

Those guys are a cockroach antenna’s breadth away from obtaining nukes, and as soon as they do, they’re gonna unleash the fury! Or just be kinda annoying like Kim Jong-Il

The truth:

Syria has no nuclear agenda, the idea of obtaining one has never been put on the table. Officially it supports a nuclear free Middle East. The WMDs it has are a couple of rockets equipped with mustard gas. We’re not “pursuing” it, we already have it, we’ve stated that we have it. It’s the only deterrent we have against a heavily funded, trigger-happy enemy with a nuclear arsenal big enough to obliterate the whole region. We’ve got the chemical weapons, the guerrilla guys, and the fact that it doesn’t make logical sense to attack us (but we all know how reliable logic is here)

So guys, sanction us. It’s your right, and we really don’t care. But when you go on your podium to explain, just say because it makes diplomatic sense to support our allies. Don’t turn us into fresh demons from the seventh circle of hell….that’s below the belt.